He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize