Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
