I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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