ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
