How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
