true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
