i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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