Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
