Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
