If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Congratulations! We have a period
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