I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
