we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize