What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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