yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
