Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
