You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize