i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize