I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize