I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
