so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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