we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
