Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The best revenge is premature balding
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
