i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
