What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
