Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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