I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
