do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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