I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
