we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
