I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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