he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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