Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize