ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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