First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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