You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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