I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
