i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
