It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
