i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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