yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
