idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
