i was born a porn star she said
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
