What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
