I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
