frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
