I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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