Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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