this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
