5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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