just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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