Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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