Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
