It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
