halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just want nice things and good sex
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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