38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i came on her dog
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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