Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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