Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
