I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
